It is a bittersweet feeling for sure to show up at your girlfriend's house to give her flowers before she goes to work only to be met by her ex-husband coming out the front door.
I have never felt such pain in all my life.
I have never had things crumble in such an utter way that I was completely fathomless. I knew not where I stood, I knew not what I was feeling, I knew not what I was doing. I had also misinterpreted the situation entirely, but was already off on a raging torrent of my own making.
Rudderless in a tumultuous sea of raw emotion.
I spoke to him in a manner that was incomprehensible to myself.
Flabbergasted is the word.
God Almighty the pain...the pain I felt...it went all the way back to a time in high school being rejected by, I don't even know her name, but I asked her to a dance and she said "no I can't go 'cuz I'm going to go snowmobiling that weekend". Which I knew wasn't truth. And there she was at the dance, not snowmobiling.
And later in life having, a girlfriend that was the penultimate to me; driving up with her parents to their swanky Traverse City, Michigan lake house in her father's Jaguar, such engaging conversation with her mother; only to be dumped when we returned because she loved a guy dealing drugs in our town more than me.
Wow, that is still a heavy breath just thinking of it, and remembering that whole scene. Whew! (I must still have some work to do there).
But that is precisely why we choose to incarnate on this little blue ball, spinning thru space, to fully feel our feelings...good, bad, or indifferent, we ride the wave, crest, and fall of our feelings...to the end of them. That is the trick, to ride them thru, not to stuff them deep down and pretend they don't exist, for if we do that, eventually, they will come out sideways in some manner in our lives.
The funny thing is; we all have these feelings, these,unresolved, feelings we have stuffed down into ourselves that we haven't dealt with yet. So as situations arise in our life triggering that same feeling that we had when we were younger, if we haven't dealt with it, it feels like a raw, exposed nerve, transporting us right back to when we first experienced it... not to relive it in pain, or as a victim, but so we can deal with it properly. Feeling it thru to the end.
I want to teach you how to allow those feelings to fully pass thru so you can process them back to their origin, embrace them and be free, like a wave that crashes on the beach. I want to teach you how to transmute them so you can shed layers and layers of unresolved emotions you've been carrying around for decades!!!
How does that sound?