Being...

As I was quietly meditating this morning a phrase came into my mind that I had forgotten; that..."we are human beings, not human doings". What does it mean to be? How do I just "be" in everyday life? For so much of my life I defined myself by other people's criteria and definitions of success, many I had learned from television, society, my parents, my employer, but they were not my own, and they did not feel right on me. I spent a great deal of my life bound up in fear, but never really recognizing it. What I mean by that; I had a fear of failure, I had a fear of success, I had a fear of not being enough, I had a fear of being too much, every single thing I did was motivated in some way, shape, or form by fear.

For example, I was extremely successful in my job financially, because I was extremely afraid of financial failure, and as a result I was exhausted, over-worked, a nervous wreck, completely full of stress, never able to relax. Fear is not a good motivator. It reminds me of castles of sand, they do not last once the tide rolls in. I will tell you quite clearly that if you are serious about growth, anything that you have built in the vibration, or resonance of fear will have to come down and be rebuilt in the vibration or resonance of love. You can have the same things, but when it's built in love instead of fear it's actually different; it has the ability to open and bloom like a flower; you will only understand this and know what I mean when you have experienced the loss and rebirth of everything that you have built in fear. My definition of being, is for me each day to dive into what makes me, myself. What makes this specific unique expression of Source showing up in the world as me? How do I go deeper into that and express even more fully as myself? Is there a way for me to be more me? Of course there is, but the only way to do that in my opinion and in my experience is to dive deep within to find out who I am without judgment, completely removing the word should from my vocabulary. Peace friends.